Day ten - One confession
Sorry för att det här kommer upp lite för sent. Typ 4 dagar sent. Men jag behövde tid till det här och jag har inte haft det dom senaste dagarna så jag skriver det nu. Det här kommer inte att bli direkt en confession utan mer lite.. Känslor. Vad jag känner just nu.
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There is alot of things going on in my life right now. I'm not in my best days, I had better days, ALOT better days. Friends, school, love, family and everything else. It feels like I have been betrayed by my friends. I don't know who they are anymore. They seem different than before. They just like trying to push me out, close me out. I don't know what they are trying to do to me, but it really feels like they don't want to be friends with me anymore. And I hate it. I hate when people, slowly trying to push me out of their lives. Just say it, and I'll go. It's not that. I need someone that I can trust. I need someone I can talk to. Someone that I can rely onto. I just need someone right know.
It's been two and a half monthes since you were gone. I miss you so badly. When you disppeared from this world, I crashed. I broke into a millions pieces. I know that you are always watching us, watching me and my family, protecting us. Even though I know that you are watching us, I still feel lost, I have nowhere to go. I don't know which way I should take. I don't know if I'm ever going to be fine again. That is the thing I fear the most. The fact that I'll never will be the same as before, the fact that I'll be fine and happy. I just feel lost right now. And nobody knows it. Nobody is ever going to find out. And I rather have it for myself, but I know it's better to talk about this with someone. But I just can't. I'm not ready yet.
